Thursday, March 3, 2011

Gossip! Does more harm than you realize.

I just love how people gossip, don't you? I like how one person can get a bunch of other people to not like you anymore just because of the gossip they spread. I was once told not to make assumptions. Do not assume because it makes “u” and “me” look bad.

If someone tells you a story about another person, do you believe them or do you go to the other person to find out if the story is true? If you choose to just keep spreading the story, you are not any better than the person who told you the story in the first place.

The Hebrew word for “gossip” means to murmur, which can be summed up with one word, “indistinct.” When we gossip, we paint a picture of someone that is very unclear. We usually hand that picture to someone else (in the form of gossip) who generally does little to clear it up. In fact, more often than not, the person you talk to will add a smudge or two to the picture before handing it off to someone else, and so on. The image painted of the person is quite often very distinguishable from the original, yet people believe it to be true, never once questioning how hazy it has become. This brings up a very important point about communication, which is: If you hear something about someone that you are not certain is true, always be mature enough to go to the person in question and ask him or her to directly clarify the issue at hand.

There's an old saying that goes: "Simple people talk about other people. Average people talk about things. Wise people talk about ideas."

Which one of these do you want to be? Do you want to be the simple person who gossips? Who would, seriously?

When someone tells you something about another person, find out if it is true! Do not just continue spreading rumors and being a gossiper.

Do NOT say things you do not know to be true. Only tell the facts. Actually, it is better to not talk about other people at all. If you are not willing to say something to a person’s face, then do not bother telling anyone.

James 4:11—“Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.”

In this verse the word brother does mean earthly brother, but it means a relationship between any two Christians. As Christians we should not say things that will cause others to be hurt. When someone says something that will hurt another they are disobeying the great law in Matthew 22:39 "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

As James 4:11 says, when you gossip about somebody you judge them. There is only one judge and that is God. God is the only one with the authority to make the law. If you gossip about somebody and are judging them, you are basically putting yourself on the same level of God. Someone who judges also disobeys God's law and makes their own. Now not only have you hurt one of your fellow Christians but you're treading on some very dangerous grounds when you think you're better than or equal to God.

I Peter 3:10—“For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.”

We should not be tearing each other down. We should be building each other up.

Romans 12:5—“So in Christ we who are many form one [unified] body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

Ephesians 4:29—“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

When someone tells you a secret, it is not for you to go and tell the whole world. The person has told you the secret for a reason. They do not WANT everyone to know.

Proverbs 11:13—“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”

Be filled with grace, both toward the person you hear gossiping and the person being spoken about. It pays to give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that we are to be peacemakers and to work toward forgiveness and reconciliation. In such a process there is no room for something as ugly as gossip. When you hear someone gossiping, you can interrupt it with a simple request that they stop, and encourage them to go to the person in question and clarify if what they heard is true. Remember, we are called to be a unified body that shines forth the light of Christ, and gossip only dims that light.

Gossip Poem
(Author unknown)
My name is Gossip.
I am a direct descendant of the father of lies.
I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and I gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody’s friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and wreck marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches, and indigestion.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
I make headlines and headaches.
Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip.
Before you repeat a story, ask yourself:
Is it true?
Is it harmless?
Is it necessary?
If it isn’t, why repeat it?

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