Life, Love, and the pursuit of Happiness

Have you ever had a time when you did something you regretted or did something you wished you could take back? Well I know I have and I know quite a few people who have. I wake up everyday thinking about how different my life would be right now if I hadn't done those things or made those choices. Since I know I can't change the past, I just have to be sure that I don't make the same bad decisions again in the future. For those of you reading this, you're probably wondering what I am talking about and you're probably wondering what I did that I regret doing or not doing. Well I will tell you. I know over the past few years I have made a lot of decisions that don't just effect me but they also effect those around me. It all started back on December 7, 2007. This date is significant to me because this is the day my very first boyfriend asked me out. See, I wasn't allowed to date until I was sixteen but once I reached sixteen, I really wasn't that interested I dating. I was ok with being single. Anyways, this guy was away for school in San Diego, so not only was it my first relationship BUT it was also long distance. We were over 3000 miles away. This guy was a good boyfriend at first but over the course of our five month relationship, he changed. He asked me to do things that I was uncomfortable doing. We ended our relationship on May 5, 2008. Just a few days before I graduated. My mom was not too happy with him because she figured the emotional stress would take a toll on my grades in school. It didn't but I guess a mother needs something to worry about. After graduation, I got a job at Subway where I met the guy I dated next. He asked me out in September and we dated until early February-another five month relationship. This guy was such a jerk! He would call me literally every three weeks. So that's how often we saw eachother. I was not very upset when our relationship ended because I knew it was for the best. I found another guy a few days after we broke up. You may think this was a rebound but it really wasn't. I liked this third guy a lot. He was different than the other two guys. He didn't ask me to do things that made me feel uncomfortable. He actually called me everyday. I thought life was good but God had a different plan. We only dated for two months... Shortly after breaking up with him, I found out that one of my good friends liked me and I liked him too. I had never noticed my feelings for him because I was always too busy to realize them. Well I had to make a big decision, I could date this guy or have a repeat with the first guy I dated. I am not sure I made the right decision but I decided to give my first boyfriend another chance. A year later, here I am not dating the guy anymore but instead trying to figure out what to do. I broke up with him in May of 2010 and he left to join the army in July of 2010. We still talk everyday but I know that my friends do not approve of use being together and neither does my family so we know our relationship will go nowhere. The other guy that I had to choose between him and my first boyfriend, we just recently stopped talking. I was making him mad because I wouldn't just date him. I told him I didn't want to get him involved in my life drama, so he walked out of my life. I probably won't hear from him again. To make matters worse, I also lost both of my best friends in the past year. They both walked out of my life for things I view as unimportant. So here I sit, alone without a boyfriend and without my best friends. I know my decisions have caused my best friends to walk out but I don't see why who I date should have an effect on our friendship. No matter the hurt and pain I have endured because of my losses, I know that everything happens for a reason. I will not give up and I will not look back with regret anymore. It's time to move forward and it's time to move on. Today, I am making the decision to not look back but instead make a change. Change my life for the better and make good decisions. I can NOT be defeated and I REFUSE to quit!