Faith, Hope, and Love

I wake up every morning just thinking about how truly amazing my best friend is He knows everything about me, YET He still loves me! How could He love me? How could He care for me, a person who has made too many mistakes to count? I love my best friend more than anything! I know He is always there for me! He promised that He will never leave me. I may feel lonely but I am NEVER alone! I am very grateful for that promise. I know that I can count on Him any time of day not like earthly friends who don't want you calling when they are asleep, unless it's an emergency. God doesn't mind getting a call at 3am. He doesn't mind me staying up with Him all night! He doesn't mind me pouring out my heart to Him and just talking to Him nonstop. He will never tell me to stop talking though He may tell me to be quiet so that He can give me some insight. He always gives good advice. I know I can count on Him to help me out. God is truly amazing
I know that people change. I know that I will face hardships. I know that I will ALWAYS make it through everything. All I have to do is hold on to the One who Loves me! He will help me every step of the way. I can trust Him to make the right decisions for me. I am facing some difficulties right now but I have TRUE PEACE because I have given my burdens to God. I don't know if anyone has ever experienced true peace but I know I have. There are times when I feel like the world crashing down on me but I give my burden to God and the true peace I have from God lets me know that everything WILL be OK. There are times when I feel overwhelmed by school, work, and other things but I give my burden to God and I just feel free! I trust God with all of my heart.
Right now I am watching the people around me change. I feel like everyone is changing and I am being left behind. I know that change is inevitable. We all face change as our lives go on; whether change is just maturing or learning from mistakes. Yes, I know I have changed too! Over the past year I have learned many life lessons. I have learned who I want to spend time with and who doesn't even deserve to see my face. I have learned that you really truly become like the people around you. I have watched one of my really good friends become corrupted by a person who loves worldly possessions. I love my friend and I always will. I hate to lose friends but I know that maybe God has a different plan. He turns what is meant for evil into good. Don't be afraid to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing you will ever do, but it's the first step to moving on. Greater things have yet to come!
Honestly, I don't understand how someone could love the world! This world is temporary. Why love what is in front of you? Why not love someone that cannot be seen but created you? Someone who some people don't believe exists. Someone that some people look down on you for believing in. Someone who can give you everything you need. It takes faith to believe in God but it also takes faith to believe what is written in History books. Which one requires more faith? Just look around you. Look at all of God's amazing creations. Is that not proof enough that He exists? Why do you believe what is written in History Books? Do you believe it because your teacher says to or do you believe it because you've seen proof? What if all the stuff in History Books is just made up? Who would know the difference expect for the people who were there but are now dead, right?
I honestly do NOT care what people think about me. I know that most females now-a-days struggle with low self-esteem. I do not have that problem. HAHA! I am not conceited but I can not be put down. Negative things people say just bounce off of me. I dare to be different. I don't want to be like anyone else. I want to stand out from the crowd. When everyone is wearing black, I am wearing lime green. I dance to the beat of my own drum.
I live to shock people. I love sports! Most guys don't talk to me about sports because I am a girl but then I shock them with all my knowledge about sports. I make them feel dumb! Never underestimate me! When I am told I can't do something, trust me, I WILL prove you wrong. No, I don't always get what I want but I am OK with that. I know that there is always something better for me out there!
Just take note: You can't break my heart; the only way you could break it is if I give it to you in the first place. I am careful of who I say "I love you" to. I don't say it to just anyone. I know that people walk out on you so I don't want to tell someone that I love them and then watch them walk away with my heart in their hands. So hearing "I love you" from me really truly means a lot! Remember that
Be yourself and don't let others put you down. You are loved no matter who you are. Show someone the love you feel. There is someone you spend time with who needs to know and experience love. Be the one who shows them love. Make a difference. Be who you want to be but most importantly, be a blessing for God. You are an amazing person and there is nothing you can do about it. Go! Now! The time has come to stand out from the crowd... Be the change you want to see in the world.

Life, Love, and the pursuit of Happiness

Have you ever had a time when you did something you regretted or did something you wished you could take back? Well I know I have and I know quite a few people who have. I wake up everyday thinking about how different my life would be right now if I hadn't done those things or made those choices. Since I know I can't change the past, I just have to be sure that I don't make the same bad decisions again in the future. For those of you reading this, you're probably wondering what I am talking about and you're probably wondering what I did that I regret doing or not doing. Well I will tell you. I know over the past few years I have made a lot of decisions that don't just effect me but they also effect those around me. It all started back on December 7, 2007. This date is significant to me because this is the day my very first boyfriend asked me out. See, I wasn't allowed to date until I was sixteen but once I reached sixteen, I really wasn't that interested I dating. I was ok with being single. Anyways, this guy was away for school in San Diego, so not only was it my first relationship BUT it was also long distance. We were over 3000 miles away. This guy was a good boyfriend at first but over the course of our five month relationship, he changed. He asked me to do things that I was uncomfortable doing. We ended our relationship on May 5, 2008. Just a few days before I graduated. My mom was not too happy with him because she figured the emotional stress would take a toll on my grades in school. It didn't but I guess a mother needs something to worry about. After graduation, I got a job at Subway where I met the guy I dated next. He asked me out in September and we dated until early February-another five month relationship. This guy was such a jerk! He would call me literally every three weeks. So that's how often we saw eachother. I was not very upset when our relationship ended because I knew it was for the best. I found another guy a few days after we broke up. You may think this was a rebound but it really wasn't. I liked this third guy a lot. He was different than the other two guys. He didn't ask me to do things that made me feel uncomfortable. He actually called me everyday. I thought life was good but God had a different plan. We only dated for two months... Shortly after breaking up with him, I found out that one of my good friends liked me and I liked him too. I had never noticed my feelings for him because I was always too busy to realize them. Well I had to make a big decision, I could date this guy or have a repeat with the first guy I dated. I am not sure I made the right decision but I decided to give my first boyfriend another chance. A year later, here I am not dating the guy anymore but instead trying to figure out what to do. I broke up with him in May of 2010 and he left to join the army in July of 2010. We still talk everyday but I know that my friends do not approve of use being together and neither does my family so we know our relationship will go nowhere. The other guy that I had to choose between him and my first boyfriend, we just recently stopped talking. I was making him mad because I wouldn't just date him. I told him I didn't want to get him involved in my life drama, so he walked out of my life. I probably won't hear from him again. To make matters worse, I also lost both of my best friends in the past year. They both walked out of my life for things I view as unimportant. So here I sit, alone without a boyfriend and without my best friends. I know my decisions have caused my best friends to walk out but I don't see why who I date should have an effect on our friendship. No matter the hurt and pain I have endured because of my losses, I know that everything happens for a reason. I will not give up and I will not look back with regret anymore. It's time to move forward and it's time to move on. Today, I am making the decision to not look back but instead make a change. Change my life for the better and make good decisions. I can NOT be defeated and I REFUSE to quit!